Q: Is it right to take important decision of my life based on my own perception, experience & feeling. The decision about marriage, I have opted to be a celibate out of my own choice based on my feelings about sex, marriage & spirituality. But I dont know how much I can rely upon what I think & feel. People around me say its not easy to be celibate; you are curbing your natural urge. But I dont know if I feel this urge or not. Since I am not an enlightened one, I might be missing out some important aspects to the above issue. How should I go about it? Gurumaa: Nazah, in your present confused state of mind, I dont think so you are fit to make any kind of decision whether to remain a celibate or not to remain a celibate, to go into marriage or not. If someone really wishes to explore higher consciousness in this very one life, then I dont think so marriage can be an obstruction to that or it can be detrimental to ones spiritual growth. But yes it will definitely come with its own set of challenges. Because today you have no clue about in which direction your mind would go, what your mind would think. And the same condition would be of your spouse. So this means now you are handling with one mind of yours & then you will have to handle with the other persons mind too. So in a way it would be a bigger problem. And in a way it has its own benefits as you have written yourself, that you will not be curbing your urges, urge about sex. Well if you had been really sure then you wouldnt have written about this question. Sometimes one begins to suppress once urges, not knowing that its not right. The celibacy doesnt come as a discipline. The celibacy has to come from the maturity of your life. We have a long chain of such Sufi, Mahatma, Sadhu who opted to remain celibate, who opted to go for a marriage & that never became an issue in their evolvement. The only thing is: what is your priority for now & how you would like to go about with that. Its definitely its an important decision but this decision should not be also based upon the family & the societal pressure. If you are naïve and not knowing your own mind then what do you think about the people around you. Do they really know their mind, may be they are just slave of their own urges. And they dont want to see another person running away from those urges and thats why they are in a majority so day & night they will be singing the song in a chorus, get married, get married Marriage or no marriage has nothing to do with your spiritual development. So dont make any decision on the base of just your mind fancy or about what the people say to you. This has to come from your own inner heart, so listen to your heart.
